03 MarRindy and Dennis’ HOPE Personal Story

Rindy Huebner, founding member of HOPE, wrote this article for the Fall 2004 New HOPE newsletter.  We thought it appropriate to share it again.

Happy Birthday Mark and Happy Anniversary HOPE. Unbelievably, it will be twenty five years this November 10, 2004 that our precious son, Mark Edward Huebner, was born still.  A few months later, with the help of Winchester Hospital Social Services, Pam Bureau and I formed the HOPE Group.

A few years before Mark was born, my husband and I tried unsuccessfully to have a baby. Tests for infertility were few, but there seemed to be no reason why I couldn’t conceive. Soon I suffered an ectopic pregnancy and we decided to look into adoption.

Three months later I found I was pregnant again. I had an uneventful and happy pregnancy.  The time flew by but during an ultrasound at 40 weeks, our balloon was burst with the words “no fetal heartbeat”.  I delivered Mark vaginally but never saw him. I will always remember one nurse coming to my room and telling me that I had a perfectly formed, beautiful son. I never saw my baby so I cherish those words. We insisted on a service and the only memory I have of Mark is the small white casket covered with yellow roses.

My doctor said that all the tests were negative so the conclusion was a “cord accident”.  We did decide to stay with the same doctor as he was very supportive.  I knew he would treat any subsequent pregnancy at high risk.  The next two months were a fog.  I barely got out of bed.  I was fortunate to have supportive friends and family but I needed to talk to someone who shared my feelings.  I attended a HOPE Group meeting on the South Shore and realized the need for a group in our area.  So with much help and support our HOPE Group started.  Many people ask me why I still stay with the group. It is an act of love for my son; love I could never physically give Mark.  I hope that the pain of others can be eased through the support of parents who have survived the loss of a baby.

Mark will always be in our hearts. We remember him as the first son, grandson, nephew, and brother in our family.  His sister, our precious Karen Alissa, was born less than a year later.  I attended many meetings during that stressful nine months and my HOPE friends supported me all the way. Although we have our beautiful daughter here, not a day goes by that I don’t remember my son in some way.  I cherish every friend I have met through HOPE.  I wish none of us had to lose a baby to become a member but our bond is strong and forever.  The HOPE Group is one positive ripple in my life that came from Mark’s death.

Whether 25 days or 25 years have passed, the pain remains.  It becomes less intense but the emptiness in your heart remains.  I hope you can find positive ways to fill your “heartache emptiness”.  Our group has helped heal my heart.  As I celebrate Mark’s birthday and HOPE’s anniversary, I think of all our members…too many over the years. I send you hugs, love, and peace.

02 MarRindy Huebner

RindyClarinda “Rindy” (Norton) Huebner, founder of the HOPE Group, passed away on Tuesday afternoon, February 26, 2013. She was 66 years old.

Rindy was born, raised and educated in Pittsfield, MA. She was the daughter of the late Dr. Stanley and Dayl Norton. After graduating from Pittsfield High School, Rindy went on to graduate from Forsyth Dental School. She worked as a Dental Hygienist for many years. Rindy, 33 years ago, suffered the tragic stillborn loss of her son Mark. In her pain and anguish, Rindy realized that countless other families have gone and will go through the same pain. After the loss of her son, Rindy reached out to other parents who suffered such a loss and founded The HOPE Group which is a peer support group for parents who have suffered the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death. Rindy and the other members of the HOPE Group wanted to help other parents endure those empty days and months because they know how hard they are. Rindy and others have experienced that heartbreaking day when they left the hospital without their baby in their arms. Rindy’s single most important purpose was to help other parents grieve; as well as offer support during the anxious times of subsequent pregnancies. Through this group, Rindy has made contact with hundreds of couples through meetings, letters, and thousands of phone calls. It wasn’t unusual for Rindy to receive a call from a hospital asking her to counsel a family. Rindy never forgot those she helped over the 33 years and always remembered the anniversary of a baby’s passing with an annual care note. Rindy’s compassion and empathy helped countless families get through the darkest times of their lives.

Rindy was very involved in the community of Burlington where she had many friends. She had a love of flowers and would spend hours working on her flower gardens at her home. She was also a longtime member of the Burlington Garden Club. She was a very active member of the United Church of Christ Congregational church serving on the Missions Committee. She was her daughter’s biggest fan when she swam and played tennis competitively. Rindy relished the time spent with her dear family and friends, vacations in Maine and seeing her daughter marry and be honored in the Burlington Athletic Hall of Fame. She has left lasting footprints on the hearts of her family, friends, and those she comforted in the HOPE Group.

Rindy was the beloved wife of 44 years of Dennis A. Huebner, She was the loving mother of Karen Alissa Calandrelli & her husband Joe of Burlington and the late Mark Edward Huebner. She was the sister of Susan Kanak and her husband Jim of Wells, ME and Mary Dayl Norton-Geer and her husband Jon of Lowell. Rindy was also survived by many nieces, nephews, and friends.

A Memorial Visitation will be held at the Edward V. Sullivan Funeral Home, 43 Winn St., Burlington on Monday, March 4 from 4:00 – 8:00 PM. Memorial Services will be held at the United Church of Christ Congregational, 6 Lexington St., Burlington on Saturday, March 16 at 11:00 AM. Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend. In lieu of flowers memorials in Rindy’s name may be made to the Hope Group c/o 5 Liberty Ave., Burlington, MA 01803, the United Church of Christ Congregational, 6 Lexington St., Burlington, MA 01803 or the American Lung Association.

24 FebKeep the Cards Coming!

The HOPE Card Campaign for Rindy is in full swing.  If you haven’t sent a get well card and message to Rindy yet, please do so.  The cards she’s received so far have brightened her spirit!  Your kind words have made her day.

Please continue to send those cards.  You can always send more than one to Rindy Huebner, 5 Liberty Avenue, Burlington, MA 01803.

Thanks!

 

20 FebThe HOPE Card Campaign for Rindy

GetWEllSoonRindy Huebner, the HOPE Group founding member, has recently been in and out of the hospital and needs our support. Won’t you help us by joining the HOPE Card Campaign for Rindy?

Please send Rindy a get well card with a note describing how much the HOPE Group has meant to you. These cards will certainly cheer her up and give her strength to get better soon.

Please share this campaign with your family and friends and encourage them to write to Rindy as well. Tell them to explain how the HOPE Group has affected you and their life. Rindy and her family have given so much to the group and a card is the least we can do to share how much we care about her.

Please send the cards to Rindy Huebner, 5 Liberty Avenue, Burlington, MA, 01803.

Any questions, please email Donna.

Thanks!

15 FebEdgartown Lighthouse Ceremony

McDLighthouseStoneA Ceremony of Remembrance will be held on Saturday, September 21, 2013 at 1 pm at the Edgartown Lighthouse Children’s Memorial.  New stones will be placed in the late spring.  The ceremony will honor all of the children whose names are a part of the Memorial.

 

To have a new stone placed at the lighthouse, contact http://www.mvmuseum.org

A rain date for the ceremony is set for Saturday, September 28, also at 1 pm.  A decision will be made by 5 pm on Friday, September 20, and notice will be available by calling 508-627-4441.

15 FebCF Annual Conference

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The Compassionate Friends is coming to Boston.  They are holding their annual conference on July 5 – 7, 2013.  Visit their website for more information.  Navigate to http://www.compassionatefriends.org

HOPE members have attended in the past and have found such comfort.  Won’t you consider attending?

 

30 JanGrieve Out Loud Pen Pal Program

Grieve Out Loud Pen PalNeed someone to listen and understand what you are going through?  Give the Grieve Out Loud Pen Pal Program a try.  From their website:

“This is no time to be alone. Our Voices of Loss Pen-Pal Program is designed to link you and a fellow babyloss mother, father or grandparent together to talk openly about yourself, your pregnancy, delivery, your child and everything you are feeling. Voices of Loss has many wonderful team members who have all suffered pregnancy and infant loss. We understand and are here to help you find your voice after loss.

We also understand that publicly sharing the details surrounding your pregnancy or infant loss can be difficult. We extend our gentle hand to yours in hopes that our one-on-one exchanges with someone who truly understands your pain will help. Your stories stay confidential and none of your personal information will be shared. We want everyone to feel welcomed and safe with us.”

Continue Reading…

 

 

 

11 JanSandy Hook Online Remembrance Book

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The Compassionate Friends has created an Online Remembrance Book where you can leave a message of love and caring for the families left behind and for the town that is facing the holidays with an overwhelming sadness.

The Newtown Remembrance Book of Love, once completed, will be presented in person to Newtown for the families and towns people to be warmed by the love of a caring world. To join what will be thousands in leaving your message, go to www.compassionatefriends.org and click on Remembrance Book and leave your message.

 

 

Click here to learn more

 

 

11 JanFinding Hope After Miscarriage – A NY Times Article

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A NY Times Article Dated January 10, 2013

One year I was pregnant four times. I was 38 and newly married. I got pregnant the first time in January. A few weeks later, I miscarried.

For every season of that year, I have a photo of me holding a pregnancy test with two pink lines marking positive. By summer my smile is tentative.

Each pregnancy followed its own, idiosyncratic course. One ended gently, just days after a home test turned positive. Another hung on 10 weeks, the embryo’s heart stopping after we’d seen it pulsing during two previous ultrasounds. Another pregnancy my doctor tried to save by prescribing progesterone. That only caused the little bundle of cells to cling to me too tenaciously, long after it stopped growing.

Still, each new pregnancy brought renewed hope. So did the battery of tests that found nothing wrong, and the doctor who advised us to just keep trying.

 

Continue Reading

 

15 Nov2012 Memorial Service Planning in Full Swing

Hello HOPE!  The 2012 Memorial Service planning is in full swing.  We need your help.  If you would like to submit something to be read at the Memorial Service, please send it to us by Thanksgiving, November 22, 2012.  Send it to Donna, webmaster@rindyshope.org

If you would like to bring food for the service, please send us a note as well.  Finger foods and desserts always work best.

The service begins at 7:30 pm and will replace our regular December meeting.  The service will be on December 12, 2012.  Hope to see you then.


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